1. Why is it so difficult to find quality ear help around here, you guys?

     

  2. The murky origins of a brilliant tradition revealed, in a new episode of Ding Dongs.

     

  3. Here’s a new li’l comic strip for when you just want a quick gag without all the bells and whistles. I know what you’re thinking: “Is that a dirty joke?” No. And don’t be gross.

     

  4. Sometimes you just gotta take a chance, you know? Put on your big-person pants, hike em up, and roll the dice. It rarely works out in your favour, but that never stopped you before, did it?

     

  5. Oh boy, I can just see it now. I tell you one tiny, definitely real, and not made up thing about myself, and now you think you can get one over on me. Well good luck drawing cats this big, is all I’ve got to say. Or this small, for that matter. Good luck, drawing cats, basically.

     

  6. Soak me a quarter for a joke once, shame on me. Soak me another quarter for a different joke, and I’ll be like “HEY, THAT’S MY JOB.. wait, what are we talking about? Where am I?” I get confused a lot. But I’ll take your quarters, if you’re offering.

     

  7. Sometimes you just need to stop what you’re doing for a moment, and take stock of all your accomplishments. “Accomplishments” is what I call all the weird little cats that hang out in my head.

     

  8. Happy Valentine’s day you ding dongs.

     

  9. You guys know how it is, right? It’s a hard slog, dealing with the surprisingly rich, and meaningful lives being led by all those tiny lil dudes in on your toothpaste and wherever. I mean, I get it.. I want to empathize with your struggles and stuff, but COME ON, I’m trying to clean my teeth over here.

     

  10. I’m entering your mind vault. I’m sifting through your mind-junk, and rearranging your mind-furniture. You guys, this place is weird.